Press Release: Okeson Library Launches TV Station!

We got this press release on April 1st from Mat-Su College's Okeson Library. Though they marked it "FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE," The Mat-Su Monitor has a strict policy of not printing any news on April 1st. We do not wish to be the unwitting propagators of "April Fools' Day" jokes, pranks, japes, or any such nonsense that might detract from our readers' scholastic endeavors.

A week now having passed, and with the TV station still in operation, we have decided to leave it to our readers to determine if this is a prank or a quixotic, misguided initiative.

The full press release follows:

Okeson Library launches OKESON LIBRARY TV, Alaska's only college TV station!

Okeson Library shares exciting news: we have launched our very own TV station!

OKESON LIBRARY TV is up and running on analog TV channel 14.

Using the power of cutting-edge eBay technology, Okeson Library now BROADCASTS relevant, high-impact media straight to televisions throughout the Mat-Su Valley's Okeson Library's first floor!

While essentially all TV stations switched to digital transmission by 2009, Okeson Library will broadcast analog signals for the forseeable foture! This makes it easier to launch a station, and it means we're the only station in the analog game!

Those who have an analog TV, but receive no signal because they live outside of the Okeson Library first floor, are welcome to bring their TVs to Okeson Library and use our power outlets.

We've already got great programming lined up. Come to our coverage area, grab a TV, and check out the enriching television programs that we could afford to license:

• Mastering the College Experience (2000, 26 episodes)
• How to be cool at parties (1986)
• Angela Lansbury's positive moves (1991)
• Introduction to the internet (1994)
• Law enforcement guide to Satanic cults (1994)
• Sports Illustrated: the very best of football follies (1988)
• Swiss rail journeys: the Bruenig Line, part 1 (1994)
• The official kids safety quiz game show: safe kids are no accident! (1988)
• Baby animals: from the wild (1998)
• Grooming the poodle, part 1 (2002)
• Various experimental films

We know you're excited as we are. But it doesn't stop here. We've got even bigger plans.

With your SIGNIFICANT and UNENDING financial support, we will grow OKESON LIBRARY TV and add things like:

• More powerful transmitters that can reach the second floor of Okeson library
• Rights to more recent programming, including 1990s Laserdiscs
• Rights to the second halves of "Swiss rail journeys: the Bruenig Line" and "Grooming the pooodle"
• Live and local TV (e.g., the 2026 graduation or the Okeson Pond Yacht Regatta)
• Captioning
• Generous but totally fair salaries for your OKESON LIBRARY TV executive team

And more!

Remember! With your SIGNIFICANT and UNENDING financial support, OKESON LIBRARY TV can become the content-forward television station of choice for the Mat-Su Valley.